When you’ve been giving this man all the love and devotion you end up asking yourself if you will get through this and will even ponder getting back to you.
Deep within, you know you’re doing No Contact to just improve yourself and get over this breakup; Still, your heart pounds, and you’re strained while asking yourself or even your friends: Does the No Contact work to get him back?
But then, even if it does work to get him back, what’s the point to all of this?
Honestly, it mostly depends on the length of your relationship, the type of your communication, and how your relationship came to an end.
A man who was part of a long-term relationship will come back after No Contact wondering if you have someone new, missing you, or simply wondering if you’re able to live on your own: without him.
But if a man was just dating you for a short period he comes back just because he is curious/wants to boost his ego/seeking if there is a second chance. He’s single, bored, and horny, why not?!
Here are some signs to check if he will come back, before knowing the reasons why a man comes back after No Contact:
1. He explains the reason for breaking up before No Contact; maybe he needs space or just some time to realize his position in your relationship;
2. Suddenly you get the needed attention from him; The one that you have already lost for some time before the breakup;
3. He still hangs out with your friends; Even if you keep the distance, he still finds a way to hang out with your friends and be near you;
4. He acknowledges his mistakes; He admitted that the breakup was a product of the lack of interest and the urge to just shift things;
5. He admits indirectly or directly that the breakup happened in the heat of the moment and not for a rational reason;
6. Now he is slowly seeking your attention; He took you for granted but now he asks your friends about you or might even send you a text or two to ask if you are okay;
7. Your absence and silence make him miss you. He admits to your mutual friends or posts on social media any type of material implying that he misses you.
Here are 12 reasons that help in making the difference if he will ‘almost’ come back or come back for real after going distant:
1. He’s now the one to hit the rock bottom and miss you
Using No Contact to a dumper works like a boomerang. Now, he is the one that misses you after not having your attention and presence.
If your ex was interested in you and had feelings about you – he will miss your presence and the trace you left in his life.
He no longer has your undivided attention, and well, he no longer has you.
Since he once took you for granted, he now considers reaching out to you (whether through friends or his family, even texting you) to fill the gap in his life that was made after the breakup.
Doesn’t matter if he was a controlling partner, a toxic one, avoidant, or any other type: he’ll miss the closeness, the warmth of your attention, and love.
He could be at a point in his life in which he needs an ego boost, he feels unloved, or lonely. And he just knows someone who once would do anything for him, so he’ll give it a try.
2. The distance and lack of attention make him want to chase you again
Men and women like to chase and be chased.
The chase becomes more intense once the mission feels close to impossible, especially to men that represents a challenge, it’s magnetic to them.
A man might come back to you after No Contact just because he sees you as a challenge that makes him feel like he needs to have you back.
Even though this man might not have any strong feelings about you, he will pursue you to show his masculinity and reach his goal, at least he’ll try.
Note
The aim of No Contact other than overcoming breakup is to nourish the relationship with your ex if there is a possibility of getting back.
Make sure his “come back” to be a strong and reasonable one.Don’t fall into a trap when he comes back to fulfill his needs by making you a part of the on/off relationship!
3. He comes back to show that he has outgrown his mistakes
You might ask: Do exes change? Yes, people change when they acknowledge and try to fix their issues.
An emotionally strong man will come back to you after No Contact because he admits to himself and you that he has changed since the breakup.
A man who lacked communication will show you that now he can communicate differently; the one that was afraid of commitment: will sacrifice for you, will try to understand your needs, will show a willingness to commit.
Additional info so you can have a closer look at how exes change after being distant: Couples who broke up and got back together
4. He is using you as his second choice: He feels he can always come back to you
If your ex-boyfriend wasn’t fully committed to your relationship and never put you first then he might come back after months of No Contact to find consolation from you.
He comes back to you because:
~He felt lonely during holidays and needs someone to pass the time,
~Was short on money and you might be a quick save for him,
~ His other relationship after breaking up with you didn’t work and since his self-confidence is lower this time, he comes back so you can feel pity for him and maybe give him a second chance,
~He thinks that you can please him anytime that he wants.
5. He is not sure if he has made the greatest decision of his life by breaking up with you
Your ex often comes back to you if he’s not sure if he has made the right decision by breaking up with you.
If he is that type who is unsure, insecure, or even in need of space to reconsider if he wants to settle down with you then the No Contact gives him just enough of that space to decide to come back. And he does come back.
Note: If he mentioned that he needs this space before breaking up then don’t mention it to him immediately. If you want to go back to this relationship too then take it with small steps by turning a new page on this relationship.
6. He comes back because he couldn’t replace you
Most of the guys come back to their ex after they have dated a couple of women because none of them made him feel like you did.
During this time he might have dated other girls to make you feel jealous or even tell you that he is a winner in this breakup.
But, after using Radio Silence he comes back because he couldn’t find someone as suitable as you.
7. He wants to make sure that you’re missing him
The moment you’re not begging and pleading and boosting his ego to get him back, that’s the moment your ex wants to get back to make sure you’re missing him still.
The moment you move on is the moment the breakup hits him. That is the moment that he thinks: Wait she didn’t even call me yet? Does she miss me?
An immature man and a man of low self-esteem would go back into that relationship, even if he doesn’t have feelings anymore, just to have some type of comfort and validation.
8. He comes back only for a quick intimate moment: Hooking up is all that’s he’s thinking!
This sign screams: I just want to fulfill my needs and boost my ego because I’m horny (I might be a tad sad too, but that’s not the point)!
He might come back but doesn’t want to talk about anything, not even your precious time and feelings involved in the relationship.
All he wants is sex. Wham-bam thank you, ma’am! Simply vanishes, without an explanation or a second thought.
The No Contact worked in getting him back because due to distance he has felt your absence but yet this type of man is weak and unstable and does not feel ready to involve feelings, hence he comes back to fulfill the sex need.
9. He thinks you’re easier to get
This type of guy would rather return to you after No Contact than to improve himself or get his needs fulfilled by other women, simply because he thinks you’re easier to get.
That is all due to this idea that he has created about you: That you’ll always be there when he needs you and would never say no.
10. He notices that you have already moved on and are happy on your own
Moving on during No Contact has two different meanings. You might move on and date others after No Contact or you can just focus on yourself and improve how you are feeling and acting.
Neither of those makes him feel needed, so he’ll take the chance to disrupt your peace.
If your breakup was bad and there were dull reasons for getting back together then your ex-boyfriend will come back just to protect his pride because now he is aware that he has lost you for good.
11. He came to the conclusion that you’re the one
The space and distance benefitted him to think things through this time.
It doesn’t matter if you had a huge or small fight but if there were still feelings for one another, this distance might help him to strengthen his feelings about you.
Despite the fights, arguments, and distance he’ll find a way to let you know of his realization right after he comes back after No Contact:
- Words;
- Behavior;
- Actions to prove you he’s willing to do anything.
12. He is jealous: Overzealous that you have started dating other people
If you have gotten over the breakup and started dating other people, that’s the moment an ex will have a hard time accepting that you started a new life. He decides to pop up, out of nowhere.
The jealousy can be a product of him still having some faded feelings for you or that he doesn’t accept the fact that you are happy and moving on without him.
This can also have to do with his self-image and self-perception. He wants to still be needed, and you moving on shows the opposite of that: he’s not needed anymore.
What to do if he comes back after no contact?
To know how to behave when your ex reaches out to you after No Contact is the way you perceive the relationship now and whether you want to go back to it.
1. Be straightforward and honest. If you want to still keep the distance and you know that your feelings have changed then just be straightforward and don’t keep him hooked.
2. Don’t rush to reply or meet. If he reaches out to you and apologizes for his previous issues and you still have feelings for him, don’t answer immediately without thinking it through.
Take your time and ask yourself if that is worth the try. Write down the pros and cons of this relationship and how it has been affecting you. Is it worth it?
3. Draw a line. If he has been dating other women during No Contact, now he is single and wants to get back. You should draw a line and have some boundaries.
You need to let your ex-boyfriend know that after No Contact you have gained another point of view of this relationship. Let him know about it, draw the line.
4. Show him that now you have raised your values. If he dumped you for a dumb reason and didn’t value you then when he comes back, you need to raise your values.
And you raise your values by being distant and focusing on yourself while doing No Contact.
5. Find a midway to have a fresh start. If both of you needed space to just come to your senses and have a clearer view of your relationship then don’t mention past issues.
If you’re both willing to start the relationship from a fresh page, then you need to take action to overcome issues.
That can be easily done by not repeating past mistakes, and reminding yourself what you’ve learned from them.
6. Don’t be bitter and impolite. Even if your ex finds a way to meet you in person or call you and you still don’t want to go back, try to be considerate towards his feelings (read: not be blind to your needs but be cautious of something that might hurt him more.)
You don’t have to have a full conversation and make it weird or even blame one another. Make it clear it’s over for you, but not be rude about it.
7. Don’t rush it. If you want to go back to this relationship but your ex hasn’t claimed it, yet he just started to be interested in you again, then take it easy.
If your ex is stubborn, emotionally unstable, or even an introvert then it takes some time to claim feelings and decisions, that is understandable.
If you’re willing to be patient and save this relationship, then it can be done without rushing it and having a calm approach to the situation.
FAQ: Will he come back after No Contact or is that just breadcrumbing?
1. Will No Contact make my ex move on or will he/she reach out to me?
The No Contact rule won’t make your ex move on as much as begging and pleading can. By using No Contact you are not forcing yourself into winning the breakup.
While you beg them to get back to you, you build their confidence and your ex becomes cold-hearted towards you.
Whereas, silence will give your ex some space to somehow taste your absence and choose whether he or she will want to reach out to you after No Contact.
2. Do they always come back after No Contact?
You cannot say that they will always come back after using the No Contact Rule.
That all depends on how you have been implementing the No Contact Rule, what type of relationship you had, what type of personality your ex has, how your relationship ended, etc.
3. What is the success rate of no contact in getting an ex back?
There is no set success rate of getting an ex back if you aren’t fully committed to this rule and avoid making mistakes during it.
It is all dependent on your type of relationship, if you want this rule to work or if you are determined from the beginning to hate on your ex and then move on.
These are some important details that have a huge impact on the success of using No Contact.
Men do come back and in some cases, they choose to carry on with their lives and never look back. The same is applied to women. Because the rule works almost equally for both genders.
Take care and choose what’s best for you,
Callisto
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FAQs
Why did he come back after no contact? ›
They crave intimacy and connection, even when they act strong. So, when you employ the no contact rule, they seek all possible means to get back to you. That's why some people say, “he came back after no contact.”
Why do men eventually come back? ›Another one of the possible reasons why men come back weeks or months later is that they're looking for a self-esteem boost. Life has got them down, and they think of you as someone who's supportive and kind. They're coming back around to get you to build them up and make them feel good about themselves.
Why do men pull away then come back? ›Men will often come back after pulling away. This is because they've had the time to better understand their situation and their feelings, and now they're ready to pull down their defenses and take the next step.
Why do men come back after months of no contact? ›A man might come back to you after No Contact just because he sees you as a challenge that makes him feel like he needs to have you back. Even though this man might not have any strong feelings about you, he will pursue you to show his masculinity and reach his goal, at least he'll try.
What does no contact do to a man? ›The male mind during no contact
The no-contact rule male psychology forces him to recognize his loneliness. After a breakup, if you stop contacting him, he will feel free and enjoy this phase as much as he can. But, with time, the loneliness and guilt pang will start to kick in.
- Everyone around him knows he is depressed. This may not mean a lot to you, except when you are looking at a guy who used to be outspoken and boisterous. ...
- He now spends much time online. ...
- He refrains from dating for a long time. ...
- He tries “too hard” to flirt with other girls.
- 1 They leave your number unblocked.
- 2 They're sad weeks after the breakup.
- 3 They're active on your social media.
- 4 They haven't returned your things.
- 5 They keep in touch with your friends and family.
- 6 They initiate contact regularly.
- 7 They reminisce about the past.
For males, there's a lot more variance. It may take a few minutes, an hour, several hours, a day, or even longer. As you get older, 12 to 24 hours may pass before your body is able to become aroused again.
What he thinks when you don t contact him? ›He could feel angry or upset.
He might think you're being rude or fake, and may even try to confront you about it or get a rebound girlfriend in response. Anger usually gives way to remorse after a few days or weeks and is a normal response to breakups or the silent treatment.
- Ask him the questions he left in your head; Why did he pull away?
- Use more of “I feel like” rather than “You did this or that”
- Tell him how his behavior made you feel;
- Be honest, polite, and considerate of his feelings as well;
- Listen and be open to what he has to say about this;
What are the top reasons why men pull away? ›
- He Is Afraid Of His Feelings For You. ...
- He Feels He Is Being Pressured To Do Something. ...
- He Is Being Put In The Spot Frequently. ...
- He Is Burdened With Past Trauma And Disappointments. ...
- He Is Finding It Difficult To Live Up To Your Expectations. ...
- He Is Not Comfortable With Expressing His Love.
You get more you-time
Getting more time for yourself is what happens when you stop chasing a man. With him no longer at the center of your focus, you can now focus on building yourself and your career or interests. So, you stop chasing him and divert your energy into something more productive.
Roughly 4 weeks of time alone should be enough to get back into the normal rhythm of the single life. It might feel messy and strange at first, but after 30 days you may find yourself feeling much better. While 30 days is a good rule of thumb, everybody is different.
Why do dumpers come back after you move on? ›Exes can come back for many reasons, but most of the time, it's because they have unresolved feelings or emotions from their past relationship. They might just be looking for a distraction from their current life.
Do guys with commitment issues come back? ›A man with commitment issues, also known as a commitment phobe, can return to a relationship. Women often fear that they scare men away with the desire for a long-term relationship, but if a man can overcome his past feelings of fear, he will be much more likely to commit to his dating pursuits.
How long does it take a guy to realize he misses you? ›So, a few weeks to two months is the answer to the question, “How long does it take for a guy to miss you?” Typically, men realize what they lost when they can't find a woman with their personality. By then, they learn not all women are the same, and they shouldn't have broken off the relationship.
What does heartbreak feel like for a man? ›Some people describe it as a dull ache, others as piercing, while still others experience it as a crushing sensation. The pain can last for a few seconds and then subside, or it can be chronic, hanging over your days and depleting you like just like the pain, say, of a back injury or a migraine.
Will a guy miss me if I don't contact him? ›Does no contact make him miss you? Yes! One of the best ways to use silence after a breakup is to cut off all means of communication. That includes going silent on social media after a breakup.
What are the signs that someone is thinking about you? ›Your Eye Twitches or Itches Randomly
A randomly twitching or itching eye is another real psychic sign that someone is thinking about you. But it gets even better. While both men and women will feel a sudden itch or twitch of an eye, the meaning is different depending on the eye.
Texting you frequently, talking about you when with friends or others, getting jealous, drunk texting or calling you, trying everything he can to keep the conversation going, and so on are signs he misses you.
How do you tell if a guy is confused about his feelings for you? ›
When a man is confused about his feelings, his behavior might be erratic. He might make you feel desired and give you all his attention during the 'hot' phase. Then he may pull away just like that and act cold when he feels like he's catching feelings for you.
How do you know when your ex is truly done with you? ›- They don't call you anymore. ...
- They are seeing someone new. ...
- They don't want to hang out. ...
- They can be in the same room with you without feeling sad. ...
- They stop flirting. ...
- They try to set you up with someone else. ...
- They return your stuff. ...
- They ask for their stuff back.
- They contact you again. ...
- They ask to be friends again. ...
- They ask to meet up. ...
- They flirt with you. ...
- They text you on important days. ...
- They are still single. ...
- They post too many pictures with others. ...
- They take the blame for the breakup.
- “I totally get it—life happens. I'm glad that we're back in touch.”
- “Hope things have settled down for you. I'm really happy that we're talking again—it had been great getting to know you.”
"Teenage boys can have a refractory period of a few minutes; a 30-year-old man is typically unable to have a second orgasm for half an hour or more; and for many men 50 years and older, one orgasm per day may be all they can achieve."
What takes a man a long time to come? ›Delayed ejaculation can result from medications, certain chronic health conditions and surgeries. Or it might be caused by substance misuse or a mental health concern, such as depression, anxiety or stress. In many cases, it is due to a combination of physical and psychological concerns.
Does no contact make someone want you back? ›Some people may be asking, “Does No Contact work?”. While everyone's ex is different, the No Contact Rule does increase the likelihood of your ex missing you and wanting to come back. In essence, it will show them that you are not available for them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live.
How to react when he is seeing someone else? ›- Accept the situation. ...
- Let out your emotions. ...
- Give yourself time. ...
- Talk to friends and family members. ...
- Don't compare yourself with the other woman. ...
- Don't stalk the other woman. ...
- Don't think about her. ...
- Remind yourself that you are perfect.
- Don't Try to Win Him Over.
- Be Mysterious.
- Hold Off From Calling or Texting Him.
- Flirt with Him.
- Don't Give Him the Impression He is The Only Guy in the Picture.
- Related.
Once a guy loses interest can you get it back? Yes, you can get a guy's interest back once he loses it because he was once captivated by you. Your job is to figure out what's changed and fix it. Most men don't just wake up one morning and decide they've lost interest, it's a process.
How do you make him want you after he pulls away? ›
- Ask, Don't Assume. ...
- Discuss Space vs. ...
- Learn His Love Language (and Your Own) ...
- Communicate Your Feelings Without Maligning His Character. ...
- Consider Therapy (for You and for the Relationship) ...
- Don't Take It Personally. ...
- Check Your Expectations. ...
- Know When to Let Go.
One of the possible answers to why do guys distance themselves after intimacy is because they are in their refractory period. It is difficult for men to immediately go for subsequent rounds after they ejaculate. They need more time to achieve the same excitement level so that they can adequately satisfy you in bed.
How long do men usually pull away for? ›A guy generally pulls away for a few weeks when the issues he's dealing with are solvable throughout that time. Those issues can be things such as deciding whether you two are a good match, when he's not sure about how he's feeling, or fear of his feelings, etc…
Why chase someone who doesn t want you? ›The answer is Dopamine. A drug like chemical that pulsates the body in search of pleasure. The dopamine-driven reward loop triggers a rush of euphoric drug-like highs when chasing a crush and the desire to experience them repeatedly.
Why you shouldn't chase after a man? ›It affects your self-esteem
When you're chasing a man who doesn't reciprocate your feelings, it could end up backfiring and your self-esteem will take a hit. Not sealing the deal will make you lose confidence in yourself and your life decisions – “why can't I do anything right?”, you might ask yourself.
- Keep busy. When you are busy, you aren't thinking about who is or isn't ignoring you, or about the guy that's driving you crazy. ...
- Talk to someone else. ...
- Demand better. ...
- Leave your phone alone. ...
- Make him a little jealous. ...
- Mute him on social media. ...
- Turn off notifications. ...
- Focus on yourself.
They crave intimacy and connection, even when they act strong. So, when you employ the no contact rule, they seek all possible means to get back to you. That's why some people say, “he came back after no contact.”
How long before he misses me with no contact? ›Today I'm going to show you the eight definitive signs that a man is missing you during a no contact rule. Usually this period of time lasts anywhere between 21-45 days. Of course, for many of our clients are left wondering how they can tell if it is even working.
How do you know if a dumper regrets? ›- They begin to communicate with you.
- They apologize for the breakup.
- They show more affection.
- They discuss issues in their present relationship.
- They try to atone for past mistakes.
- They show pessimism when you tell them someone else is involved.
- They stalk you.
And yes, the denial is real. Your ex is so blindsided by the novelty of being in a new situation that he 100% feels he's made the right decision. This stage in the dumpers regret timeline tends to brief. It often only lasts a few weeks to up to a month.
Do emotionally unavailable dumpers come back? ›
Most of the time no contact with an emotionally unavailable man or woman works because it gives them the space and the time they need to think about themselves and their relationship. Often dumpers do come back because they have had the time to reflect on their actions and emotions.
What makes a man keep coming back? ›He may be giving you mixed signals because he's afraid of commitment or he doesn't know what he wants. It's possible that he's using you, either for sex, validation, or attention. If he's your ex, he may be trying to win you back. He could be toxic, controlling, or playing games with your feelings.
What makes a man finally commit? ›“A man will commit when he feels a deep connection with a woman that he doesn't feel with anyone else; when he finds a lover who is also his best friend that makes him feel special and unique,” Tripp says.
Does no contact bring him back? ›While everyone's ex is different, the No Contact Rule does increase the likelihood of your ex missing you and wanting to come back. In essence, it will show them that you are not available for them whenever they want you and that you have your own life to live.
Why does silence make your ex come back? ›Radio silence simply refers to the act of being distant from your partner in order to make him come back to you. When done the right way, it allows your ex to miss and crave you more. It reaffirms and reawakens the feels he has for you, compelling him to come back.
Can no contact make feelings come back? ›Take a break
This is where the no-contact option comes to play. Lost feelings can come back, but you have to prove that you are worth being in a relationship with and you don't achieve that by being clingy and needy. So, start by taking a break.
That depends on many factors and can vary from time to time. Measured on a stopwatch, it takes an average of 5 to 7 minutes for a man to reach orgasm and ejaculate.
Does no contact work Male dumper? ›The no contact dumper perspective for males is challenging, but they have to stick to it to make it work. Remember that no timeline is followed when it comes to the psychology of no contact on dumper. Some males would take longer to heal than others, while some men can recover from a breakup several days after.
Will no contact work if he doesn't love me? ›They realize the relationship will never be stable
The No Contact rule will work if he has lost feelings to either make or break the relationship. If this distance makes him realize that the relationship was never stable, his feelings might not change.
The silent treatment puts a man in heightened anticipation. It shows you aren't afraid of little distance or break in a relationship. He doesn't know your whereabouts or how you feel.
What are some signs that your ex wants you back? ›
- They Often Contact You. ...
- They Try To Share Their Present Life Updates With You. ...
- They Show Subtle Jealousy. ...
- They Try To Make You Jealous. ...
- They Want To Be Friends With You. ...
- They Wish To Meet You. ...
- They Find Excuses To Talk To You. ...
- They Remember Your Important Days And Text You.
- They Make Attempts To Stay In Touch. ...
- They Keep You Updated. ...
- They Get Jealous. ...
- They Pretend That They Need Your Help. ...
- They Keep Bringing Up Your Memories Together. ...
- They Tell You How Far They Have Come. ...
- They Keep Checking With Mutual Friends About Your Well-being.
His behavior is inconsistent
Another way to tell that he is probably fighting feelings for you is if his behavior is inconsistent. He may be flirtatious and showing off one minute, then acting all awkward and shy the next. Or he may be attentive and then suddenly ignore you.
- Step 1: Get Rid Of The Reminders. ...
- Step 2: Write A List Of All Of The Reasons You Broke Up. ...
- Step 3: Delete All Of Their Contact Information. ...
- Step 4: Accept You Aren't Going To Forget Them. ...
- Step 5: Seek Professional Help.